My dear children, have you ever heard the tale of how I obtained the riches that make our family so wealthy to this day? Gather closer 'round the fire, and let me tell you a story of my youth. . .
As you know, our kingdom has a long history of joy and gladness, but there are still times when intrigue and even war cannot be avoided. Thus, after a long period of peace, when our king dreamed of a fox suspended from its tail in the rafters over the throne, he worried about what the vision might foretell. He promised anyone who might interpret the dream correctly numerous gifts, and the message reached my own ears. Though I was far from the castle and knew not what the dream might presage, I set off on the long trek regardless, hoping to acquire wealth to restore glory to our family's dilapidated homestead.
When crossing through the mountain pass, a voice called out to me from the ground; looking down, I noticed a vivid, green serpent lying in the sunlight. It raised its head and speared my gaze with its glittering emerald eyes, "Tell me, peasant, to where art thou traveling?"
Now, children, I had heard tales of those animals in our kingdom which possessed the skill of human speech, but never had I believed them to be true. Almost as if in a trance, I relayed my quest to the gleaming serpent. He hissed softly at my tale, sounding almost pleased with the challenge. Within his gaze I saw a vision much like the one the king must have seen, with a fox hanging from a wooden beam, and then the snake spoke again, "Having received thy word that thou wilt share with me the gifts of thy king, know that the fox portrays the cunning, hypocrisy, and treachery within the kingdom."
Having said this, the snake slithered off into the grass and disappeared from my view. I hurried off to the king and relayed the meaning of his dream, upon which I received many riches. But, my children, I was selfish, and returned home by another trail in order to keep all the wealth for myself.
It happened that not too long after this, the king had another vision, that of a sword hanging by a thread from the roof above his throne. He sent for me to interpret, and though I had betrayed the serpent I visited again the mountain pass in the hopes of finding him and learning what he might teach me.
Fortunately, when I called out in despair the serpent came forth, looking somewhat put off by my presence. His tongue flickered lazily, his eyes searched my face--though for what, I do not know. "Thou seek my counsel again, young peasant? Wilt thou keep thy word this time?" I hastily promised him that I would, and then told him of the king's dream. "Tell thy king that the sword foretells of war, and that thine enemies are intriguing from both within and without the kingdom. Prepare for battle and attack!"
At these words I ran off to the king and informed him of the upcoming war. He again rewarded me with innumerable gifts, making our household wealthier than ever before. I decided to take the quickest route home, which included the mountain pass, where I stumbled upon the serpent.
Before he could ask me for his share of the king's reward, I attacked him with my sword--ah, children, how ashamed I am now for my actions! The wise one who had granted me the opportunity for such wealth, and I wounded him greatly. . . But I was possessed with great greed and hurried home with my vast fortune as the serpent trailed away.
More time passed, and the king called for me a second time to translate for him his most recent dream--that of a slain sheep hanging above the throne. I knew that I had twice denied the serpent his due and indeed injured him with my sword, but I sought him anyway, hoping that he would have forgiven my past transgressions.
Thus I came across the mountain path for the fourth time, again seeking the serpent. As soon as I approached I noted the serpent basking along the path before me. When he observed me, his eyes glittered as before, but this time with malice as well as with knowledge. Emerald scales glinted in the sunlight as he rose imposingly before me. "What dost thou want, peasant?" he hissed, eyes flashing angrily.
I informed him of the third vision, and saw reflected in his gem-like eyes the vision of the king. His gaze grew calmer, and he spoke softly. "Again, thou hast promised to grant me half of thy gifts; thus, I inform you that this is a sign that peace falls on all across the kingdom, and all the people are become like gentle sheep."
I passed the serpent's infinite knowledge onto the king and received more wealth than ever before. Feeling generous in the newly-come peacetime, I returned along the mountain path. The serpent sensed my approach and came forth from the grass, slithering warily up to me. I knelt down before him and laid out all the king's gifts, offering them to the creator of my fortune. The serpent was pleased and nodded at me with sinuous motion, "Thou hast come far, peasant, in these troubling times. When there was hypocrisy in the lands, thou deceived me; when there was war, thou sought to quarrel. But now thou bringest the gifts in times of peace and sharest all with me. For this, go in peace, and keep all thy wealth!"
His emerald gaze turned from me for the last time, the final image reflected in them that of gold and riches beyond belief. His glittering body disappeared into the grass along the mountain pass, never to be seen again, and I headed home with more wealth than could be spent in ten lifetimes. . .
So, you see, it was due to the generosity of a serpent that our family amassed its wealth--a serpent even crowns our crest, as if it were meant to be! And if you ever observe a serpent basking along the road or dwelling within our lands, be sure to treat it well, for who knows what good fortune it might bring you. . .
Author's Note. I decided to retell the story of "The Serpent and the Peasant" because I found it intriguing that, for once, the snake was portrayed as a wise, kind, and generous creature, rather than an evil and deceitful one. I didn't really change anything in the story but the perspective, plus I added in a bit of a "third dimension," if you will, by addressing my readers/listeners directly--just to try out a new style. I hope you enjoyed this story!!
Image Information. Christmas Snake; photo by glazyrin, 2013. DeviantArt.
Bibliography. "The Serpent and the Peasant" from Georgian Folk Tales. Marjory Wardrop, 1894. Untextbook.
I thought your story was great! Your title immediately pulled me in, and I really wanted to know what your tale was going to be about! I also like that every word in the main part of the title starts with a vowel. I don't know why, but to me it just makes it sound cool. The spacing of your paragraphs was great! It helped me not get overwhelmed, and it definitely helped the story flow smoothly. I also enjoyed your vocabulary. I can say with 100% certainty that I've never used the word "presage" in a sentence, so it was neat seeing what words you incorporated into your tale. I also thought it was great that a snake wasn’t the bad guy in a story for once. What you did with that character really let it shine, so great job with that! Overall, I thought you did a really good job with your story.
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica, for the 150 word assignment this week I chose of course to review some of your work. First my overall impression of your retelling of this story was that you did a great job of writing a tale that is not boring, and relayed the message it was intended to relay. For this class we do a ton of reading of original work and other students work and at times it is a challenge to get through the assignment. This was not the case with you work. I was engaged with the story the entire time. Next as far as the other elements of the assignment, I have to say as always you did a great job with your imagery. Your word choice was also high quality. Then entire time I was reading your story I felt as if I was reading original work and that is the result of the way you constructed this story. The only things I would change on this story would be to not be as repetitive when referring to the snake. The way you repeated the hissing and the description of the snakes gaze could be changed or omitted after the first use. You did such a great job of not being repetitive throughout the rest of the story that eliminating those things would strengthen it. Although I do admit this is just a small critique. Overall this was excellent.
ReplyDeleteJessica, I thought this story was great. You had a lot of great details and elements that brought the story together. I also saw the connection between the story you wrote and the story that you used as inspiration for your story. The one comment that I would make is that I would suggest maybe adding some variation in the story so that the story you used as inspiration and the story you wrote would not appear to be quite so similar.
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica, I enjoyed reading your story. I liked how you started off the story as in it felt like a story within a story. You used a lot of details to describe the settings and situations so it provided a good visual as I read through the story. You also had great grammar and vocabulary so that was awesome. The story was very easy to read. I thought the picture went very well with the creative title. Overall, great job with your storytelling post.
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