Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Week 1: Storytelling--The Echo of Tommy Lin

There once was a little boy named Tommy Lin who lived on a farm.  Now this little boy was not your typical, somewhat-meddlesome but rather well-behaved child.  No, Tommy Lin was the kind of boy who would sneer at you and cause shivers to roll down your spine and goosebumps to pebble on your skin.  He was the boy who you would turn around and watch as you walked away from him so as to never turn your back to him.  He was the boy whose laughs seemed to echo on forever as he mocked you.  He was the kind of boy who brought you nightmares.


And yet, somehow, Tommy Lin always seemed to maneuver so that adults never saw him act out.  While even they refused to turn their backs on him, nothing could ever be proven against him--and you can't do anything about a child who simply gives you the creeps.  But that all changed the day Echo, Mr. Lin's barn mouser, was found drowned in a well.

You see, Tommy Lin never did like that cat.  He was always locking it out of the house, giving it spoiled milk, or kicking it if it got too close.  Then one day poor old Echo raced right into a baited trap Tommy Lin had left for him; I mean, have you ever known a mouser not to chase after a live mouse?  Echo was only doing what he was supposed to, and he wound up dead.

In fact, it was not until later that evening that Echo was discovered.  Mr. Lin ran outside to find his dog Pioneer whining at something in the farm's well, and upon investigation found a strangled, waterlogged cat floating on the top of the water.  Yet Echo had done one final valiant deed before his drowning--he had scratched Tommy Lin across the face, marking the boy for his murder.  When confronted by his father, Tommy Lin only laughed; he laughed all the way to the correctional center and behind padded doors.  And, to this day, his laughs still echo through the fields of his father's farms, along the roads of the town, and in the cell where he stands grinning through the bars. . .





Author's Note.  This story is based on the nursery rhyme "Ding, dong, bell," which can be found in The Nursery Rhyme Book, edited by Andrew Lang and illustrated by L. Leslie Brooke (1897).  The original rhyme is written as follows:
Ding, dong, bell,
Pussy's in the well!
Who put her in?--
Little Tommy Lin.
Who pulled her out?--
Dog with long snout.
What a naughty boy was that
To drown poor pussy-cat,
Who never did any harm,
But kill'd the mice in his father's barn.

I decided to take a risk (and a new storytelling route for me) and create a mini horror story out of it.  Now to find a dying campfire on a farm and wait for a dark, cloudy night. . .

Additional Author's Note.  This was originally written by me last semester, so hopefully I caught any errors I missed then and it is still enjoyable to read!!!

Image Information.  A photograph of a farmhouse ruin in the winter.  Photographer Peter Dargatz. Source: Pixabay.

6 comments:

  1. I am very impressed with your storytelling. I believe that you are very talented. I noticed that you really were able to describe Tommy Lin. Therefore, it was really easy to imagine him and exactly what his personality was. I can see that you are very good at using your imagination. This was a small nursery rhyme that was turned into a great story that does not seem made up.

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  2. Wow, that was really good. You did a great job of creating imagery. I was picturing Tommy Lin as the kid from the movie, "The Omen" haha. Before reading your story, I did not know "mouser" was another word for cat. The only thing I was a little confused about was how or when Echo scratched Tommy Lin. Other than that, I thought you wrote a very entertaining adaption to the original nursery rhyme!

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  3. Great job with your story! Tommy Lin gave me the creeps. You did a great job setting the scene and describing not only Tommy Lin but the cat as well. The picture you chose for your story was perfect as well. What creeped me out the most was the part about Tommy Lin's laughter still being heard. Laughter in horror movies is always something that sets me on edge, so that was a great touch!

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  4. Wow, great story! I really enjoyed the direction you went in with the horror story. Your use of descriptive words and phrases (like "pebble on your skin") added a lot to the creepy feel of the story. I also like how you wrote the story informally, almost like the narrator was talking to a friend. It makes readers feel more immersed in the story. The ending was very good and creepy! Also, your title was awesome! I love how you named the cat Echo and had Tommy's laugh echo throughout the town. Since I have to be critical, the only thing I would say is to maybe alter the beginning of the story to make it more memorable and to fit more with the personal narrative style. Overall, I very much enjoyed this story and your writing style.

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  5. First of all, I love the story! I think you did a great job of turning it into a mini horror story. When you talked about his laugh echoing behind bars I got the chills!

    I really like that you put spaces between your paragraphs. It makes it easier to follow along in the story and not lose my spot.

    I also like the fact that it's black text with a white background. It makes the words really stand out!

    One thing I will say, is that I didn't care too much for the font. The font is a little harder to read, and it takes away from the horror aspect of the story.

    Also, I liked your image! It really did add a creep-factor to the story. Once I saw the image I instantly knew this story would be a scary one.

    Well done!

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  6. Hey Jessica! Since I have already commented on your introduction, I wanted to choose another story to read. I immediately clicked this story because the picture of creepy house drew me to it and I was pleasantly surprised to see the story was just as creepy. I really enjoy your writing style and use of vocabulary like mouser for cat.

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